Starring Tom Cruise.
Synopsis:
Tom Cruise goes to train the 19th century Japanese army in modern soldiering techniques so they can get rid of the samurai class that's been abusing their position since forever. The incompetence of his troops gets him captured by the enemy and hilarity ensues.
Review:
Did you see Dances with Wolves? Replace the Indians with samurai and you have 95% of this film. For those of you who haven't or are interested in the 5%, read on.
Ah Japan, that most insane of countries, birthplace of used panty vending machines and tentacle pr0n. Japan, the country that had to be atomic bombed into admitting their leader wasn't a living god. And now the country cursed by associating one of their most recognizable cultural features with a ranting, raving loon.
They go to a great deal of trouble to make the set look like vintage Japan. Costumes, cinematography, etc., are all pretty damned good. Ken Watanabe turns in a respectable performance as the head samurai that can't bring himself to tell his emperor that most eunuchs have more balls than he does.
The film begins to fall apart after Tommy boy's POW sequence. In the span of one winter, his fighting skills rival those of warriors who've been doing that shit their whole life. The asshole cavalry officer in the movie feels like he's there just so Tom can fight him during the climax. You could take him out entirely and miss nothing. Every non-combat scene he's in is difficult to watch, mainly because he's trying to act. The combat scenes are worse. I'm not sure who schooled him in his stage swordplay, but I felt bad for the stuntmen that had to slow their movements by half so he could keep up.
Verdict:
Too long. Too much Cruise trying to channel Costner from Dances with Wolves, including angsty rage directed at his former cavalry CO responsible for an Indian massacre.
Edited By Malcolm on 1385333509
The Last Samurai
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