I avoided seeing this in the theaters and renting it for the longest time because I know it'd be a massive, steaming pile of shit.
I wasn't wrong.
Even if the original wasn't the sequel to the #1 horror film ever made, this would still be a fucking embarrassment to the horror genre.
Rob Zombie, who claims he didn't even want to remake the original out of respect, might as well have punched John Carpenter's kids in the face.
The story is that somehow Laurie has no clue she's related to Michael. (Yes, the writing sucks, and yes, Zombie was the writer too.) Anyway, it's two years after the first Rob Zombie Halloween and now Michael is making his way back home to kill Laurie. (No explanation for why he took two years off. Maybe he was backpacking through Europe...)
Anyway, he gets help from his two spirit guides, himself and his mom. No, I'm not making this up. His mom is played by Zombie's wife. Yeah, no stretch of the imagination to figure out why Zombie wrote Michael's spirit guide mom into the script.
Anyway, the spirits lead Michael to all the folks he needs to kill. They also apparently help him teleport since his ability to get around town is amazing. He beats people driving cars.
Actually, let me take that back as the film seems to imply he now has the abilities of The Flash. Multiple times he'd pop onto the camera out of nowhere despite there being no place in that scene for him to hide. Plus, there would be a weird sound effect like he just came out of warp.
And did I mention the numerous dream sequences?
Oh, and since it's a Zombie film expect lots of gore and tits.
A complete and utter waste of time.
0 out of 10.
Edited By Leisher on 1270586007
