I rented this one as I've seen it heavily marketed, particularly for Blu-Ray. I figured with all the marketing and B-list stars that it might be a rare low budget gem.
I was wrong.
I can sum this movie up rather easily: "It's worse than you think it'd be."
The story is that some scientist created a zombie virus and it starts to get out of hand. He calls in the military who send their elite team that just stopped the Apocalypse (I'm not making this up). They take the zombies down, but one infected person gets out and heads to the local strip club run by Robert Englund (Freddie Kreuger). That guy bites Jenna Jamison and then the locals start showing up to watch zombie strippers dance despite the fact that they're bloody, rotting, having open wounds, etc.
I will admit that there is some campy humor here. Seeing Tito Ortiz act like a big pussy, watching Jenna shoot pool balls out of her vagina as a weapon, Robert Englund, the just ridiculously stupid elite military squad, the over the top gore, etc. all provide enough entertainment to keep you chuckling and/or admiring the naked ladies (although, there's way too much plastic for my taste and the one girl you want to get naked doesn't).
In fact, I'll go so far as to say that if you're looking for chuckles and boobs instead of screams and horror, you might enjoy this film. Just keep in mind that there is NOTHING here resembling a real film, acting, or a script.
3 out of 10.
Zombie Strippers
Firstly, searching for "zombie strippers" didn't net me shit. "Strippers" worked wonders.
Robert Englund seems to have a clear desire he must quench before he dies. To cash in every chip of credibility he earned doing the good Nightmare on Elm Street movies, aka the ones Craven directed himself (first, third, and last). I swear someone wrote this script and he then realized, "Wait a minute. I'd just call the cops or military to handle this if zombies actually showed up. Hmm, I need a way around that. Perhaps I could even use some writing device to help me. Nah, fuck it." The writing here ranges all the way from "fratboy" to "slacker." It was so bad, I expected to it to be a Joss Whedon/JJ Abrahms collab. I could churn out a better screenplay in a week. Easily. I'm tempted to check this out instead.
Knew I should have recognized that dude.
Robert Englund seems to have a clear desire he must quench before he dies. To cash in every chip of credibility he earned doing the good Nightmare on Elm Street movies, aka the ones Craven directed himself (first, third, and last). I swear someone wrote this script and he then realized, "Wait a minute. I'd just call the cops or military to handle this if zombies actually showed up. Hmm, I need a way around that. Perhaps I could even use some writing device to help me. Nah, fuck it." The writing here ranges all the way from "fratboy" to "slacker." It was so bad, I expected to it to be a Joss Whedon/JJ Abrahms collab. I could churn out a better screenplay in a week. Easily. I'm tempted to check this out instead.
Seeing Tito Ortiz act like a big pussy...
Knew I should have recognized that dude.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
