Synopsis:
Someone saw this and thought, "Whoa, that's the most disturbing shit I've ever seen. I need to take out all those unnecessary frightening parts and replace it with pure, 100% estrogen."
Review:
I should note this is an indie Australian film, hence the titular ex-lake. Anyhow...
"What if they threw a war and no one came?"
What if someone made a "horror" movie and no scares came? No, really. I think some scenes call for raised voices, that's it. Story revolves around a family dealing with the death of a member under ... odd circumstances. You might think it goes somewhere. You probably also think Glitter goes somewhere. There is negative terror in this film. Not kidding.
It's shot in the style of a documentary or "60 Minutes" special, so it's all a lengthy flashback told by interviews with the family and those that knew them. Half the flick is you watching the alleged documentary that freezes on unbelievably grainy B/W or nightvision images recorded on camera. It takes place in the mid 2000s. Come the fuck on, 1M pixel recorders were prevalent by then, even if you lived in a kangaroo's fucking pouch in the middle of the outback.
The vast majority of time is spent suffering through painfully boring, naturalistic interviews. I think they were there to build up some emotional charge but they fail miserably, leaving you with no more feeling than you'd waste on a pizza box (with the pizza inside).
Verdict:
Lifetime and OWN could both pick this up with only minor edits. I like watching horror movies because 95% of the time, they fall into one of two entertaining bins:
1) As advertised. And good.
2) Fucking horrible. And hilarious. MST3K time.
This is one of the 5%. A remake of Interview with the Vampire starring Mike Myers and Pauly Shore would top this film.