Yet another SyFy made for TV cheese fest. This time they're capitalizing on the released-around-the-same-time Thor.
Words cannot do justice to how terrible this film, hell, any of the SyFy films truly are from top to bottom. Everything sucks.
Occasionally, it's fun to watch crap like this and laugh at the cheapness and incompetence on display. This is not one of those times...
The story opens with Odin, Thor, and one of his brothers doing something that takes them away from Valhalla. While they're gone, Loki shows up and destroys the place. They return, a fight ensues, and the rest of the movie is Thor trying to keep the "Hammer of Invincibility" out of the hands of Loki.
If you've ever read Thor in the Marvel universe, you know he's pretty much a bad ass. That'll happen when you're a god. Here he's a whiny bitch. By the end of the film, it occurred to me that I was actually rooting for Loki because Thor's character was so unlikeable. I'm pretty sure he never actually wins a fight in the whole film, except the last one? (To be honest, I watched this yesterday and I can't even remember how it ended...memorable!!!) Plus, he has to resort to uzis. Yes uzis.
Richard Greico plays Loki and at moments he seems serious, but most of the time you can tell he's embarrassed to even be involved with this film. He's probably thinking, "I'm doing this shit while Depp is making Pirates 4. Fuck!!! I was the cool guy on 21 Jump Street! What did I do wrong with my life!?"
Kevin Nash plays Odin and I feel bad for him because he seems to be genuinely trying. It's sad to see someone really trying in a turd when everyone else around him is phoning it in. Watch closely and you'll see the cast laughing during scenes.
Whoever plays Thor would be a joke in dinner theater let alone a movie. He gets out acted by props and CGI.
Ditto for the main, and only, chick in the film. Actually, there is one other woman, and she is hilarious to see holding a sword and shield. I could actually hear Sterling Archer in my head saying, "Holy crap! This is amateur hour."
I've got no more energy to waste on this abomination, but I do want to address SyFy stockholders, or anyone at that network with any sort of power: Making cheesy movies can be fun. The SyFy movies with giant and/or ridiculous monster are usually terrible, but at least they're entertaining in a "Ed Wood" kind of way. However, if you insist upon funding crap like this just to try and make a buck off of something hot, let me point out somethings to you... You could have had Firefly and any number of popular Sci Fi shows. Instead of a one and done film that will leave people with a bitter taste in their mouth, why not spend your money on a franchise? You could help resurrect Buffy. You could get some serious writers and make a pitch at bringing back Star Trek (a post TNG set in the same universe is logical). You could petition NBC for the rights to The Cape or Chuck. You could have tried to grab that ABC space show last summer. There are a ton of potential franchises out there that are worth the risk instead of crap like Almighty Thor.
0 out of 10.