10 Stars - "I didn't kill anyone after I saw it."
9 Stars - "Fuck this shit."
8 Stars - "To hell with the writers' mother."
7 Stars - "I hated it more than the rash on my rectum."
6 Stars - "I want the director to get herpies and die."
5 Stars - "A pox on the houses of all involved."
4 Stars - "Fire and brimstone will rain upon their souls."
3 Stars - "May a crazed monkey fuck their ear until their head explodes."
2 Stars - "God, please let me date the director's daughter so I can take my anger out on her. Or the director's son if no daughter is available."
1 Star - "I wish the voices in my head would be quiet. I kill and I kill, but still the voices they call to me. They tell me to stop the bad people from making these films. Their entrails fill my apartment. I see no end in sight. More films coming. More deaths are inevitable. Maybe I do just need to get laid."
The Malcolm Ratings Scale
You've just moved up on the universal hitlist for when I conquer the planet.
You should ponder whether or not its wise to kill your enemies or make friends with them.
A ruler of conquered lands would find his most valuable ally in the leader of the resistance.
“Activism is a way for useless people to feel important, even if the consequences of their activism are counterproductive for those they claim to be helping and damaging to the fabric of society as a whole.” - Dr Thomas Sowell