My mother-in-law - The art of learning to not give a fuck.

[GORDON]

But tonight I am pissed. Fajitas have been on the menu for 2 days, and I was going to make her something else, but she was in her room sulking because my wife went off on her about this bullshit, so she never came out. I just got her cereal out of its hiding place, left it on the counter, and fuck it, she can have cereal. It's what she wants, anyway.

I should go wipe my ass with her ice cream bars.



Edited By GORDON on 1454459031

[Alhazad]

I have been considering printing up a picture of her and making a "DO NOT SELL TO THIS WOMAN" sign out of it. I don't know how they deal with that kind of stuff.

Since they're counter jockeys making minimum wage: by ignoring it.

[Malcolm]

How far do you go to keep someone from killing themself? Have fun finding out.

[Malcolm]

I have been considering printing up a picture of her and making a "DO NOT SELL TO THIS WOMAN" sign out of it. I don't know how they deal with that kind of stuff.

Since they're counter jockeys making minimum wage: by ignoring it.

You've seen Clerks, right G?

[GORDON]

I actually dreamed last night that I was yelling at her about this shit, and she looked at me and with a smug look on her face said, "I'm going to eat what I want, when I want, and there's nothing you can do to stop me." So I punched her in her smug face.

She has me dreaming about elder abuse.

I woke up at 4am pissed off and heart racing, and couldn't get back to sleep for about an hour.

[Malcolm]

This could be made into an Adam Sandler movie without much modification.

[GORDON]

I packed up all her pills and shit last night and was going to tell her to pack her shit and get out, but my wife actually stopped me. She doesn't want a "homeless mother problems" screwing up our out of town trip next week.

I'm done making her separate meals. If she doesn't like what I cook for dinner, she can eat cereal. I am done rationing her cereal. If she eats it all in two days, that's all she gets until I go shopping again in 2 weeks. She asked me this morning.... yeah.... if I got any Splenda when I went shopping yesterday. The shopping list had been out for 3 days as we wrote what we needed, and she didn't write shit. So I told her to walk to the carry-out, maybe they had Splenda.

I also didn't take her to the pool this morning because I'm not yet ready to be alone with her in a car.

[GORDON]

The YMCA I go to has a daycare, and this morning I saw this cute little boy, maybe 3, and he had a walker because his feet didn't work right, but he seemed like a happy kid.

Makes me want to smack my mother in law all the more.

[Vince]

In all seriousness, it sounds like you need some almost Al-Anon type support system/ way of thinking when dealing with her. Not alcohol, but she has addiction problems with food.

[TPRJones]

But also like with alcohol, she's not going to get better until she decides to get better.

[GORDON]

But also like with alcohol, she's not going to get better until she decides to get better.

She's already been at rock bottom, out of her mind and deliriously walking the streets knocking on neighbors' doors for help. This is why I had to move her in.

There is no getting better, and she may have crossed a line. I'm still pissed but holding my tongue today hoping to cool off.



Edited By GORDON on 1454517169

[Alhazad]

The YMCA I go to has a daycare, and this morning I saw this cute little boy, maybe 3, and he had a walker because his feet didn't work right, but he seemed like a happy kid.

Makes me want to smack my mother in law all the more.

You're asserting that we're all happy until we learn that life shits on us unremittingly? No argument.

What are you gonna do about her?

[GORDON]

The YMCA I go to has a daycare, and this morning I saw this cute little boy, maybe 3, and he had a walker because his feet didn't work right, but he seemed like a happy kid.

Makes me want to smack my mother in law all the more.

You're asserting that we're all happy until we learn that life shits on us unremittingly? No argument.

What are you gonna do about her?

I'm not sure what I meant by that. Maybe "Look, here's a person with REAL problems, dealing with it."

I don't know yet. My wife, strangely, wants me to try to calm down. My wife hates her mother's guts. I am trying to reassert my better nature, but just so angry, right now.

I am going to try to avoid her completely, today. I think there's something that needs to be done out in the garage, it is unseasonably warm out.

[GORDON]

Shizzle hit teh fizzan tonight.

First of all, I was going to leave her completely to her own devices but my wife told me to put out her morning pills, at the least... so I did that.... but I left her cereal out and left to the gym without her. So she ate a bowl of cereal for breakfast.

I was busy all day so she skipped lunch, and when I got back from picking my kid up from play practice at 5pm I saw one of the ice cream bars she bought yesterday was gone. So prior to dinner, all she ate all day was a bowl of cereal and some chocolate/peanut butter ice cream.

I made a big chicken dinner as my wife and my wife's brother went to her room to begin her intervention. I stayed out of it, my position is clear: conform to my very few and simple rules, or get out. Move out and tell everyone you got tired of the private suite, private cook, private shopper, laundry, and maid service.

So after about 30 minutes of yelling, and I heard her denying everything, she got mad, put on her shit, and left the house.... in February, at night, in a small town without much to do. My wife told me to stop her, but legally I can't confine her so I said let her go. They said she said she'd just move out, "I have money." I told them to tell her to move near to whomever is going to take care of her, because if she moves out I am done. I wont even answer her calls. And I mean it.

She was out in the dark for about an hour, when she came back in I told her I made a plate of food for her by the stove, but she just didn't say a word and stormed off to her bedroom. So I'm pretty sure she is not going to eat anything else tonight.... because my wife threw the rest of her ice cream bars in the trash. Weeee.

So tomorrow I may have a comatose MIL.



Edited By GORDON on 1454548824

[Malcolm]

This is normally the point I'd recommend MDMA, psilocybin, or some form of acid, at least for her and maybe some for yourself. If you're a traditionalist, try some pills prescribed by your local doctor. Her head isn't right.



Edited By Malcolm on 1454551024

[GORDON]

Fun little thing:

She has been on the computer all day, beginning at noon. Solitaire and Mah Jong.

She came outside at 3:30, and watched the chickens while I was working on the chicken coop. She stayed outside for 15 minutes. A few minutes after that I went in to get a tool, she was back on the computer.

She played until 6. Ate. Got back on at 7. Approximately 8 hours of solitaire today, on a really nice, Spring day. My wife went in to ask her wtf.

She denied she's been playing more than a few minutes. She came up with this elaborate fantasy about all the things she did today, how she went out to lunch, visited the old lady next door, and other fun, wonderful things. None of it happened.

This bitch doesn't have dementia, she's just a fucking liar.

Personally, I've stopped giving a fuck and I figure if she is sedentary maybe she'll kill herself quicker.... but I hate fucking liars.

[Alhazad]

Personally, I've stopped giving a fuck and I figure if she is sedentary maybe she'll kill herself quicker.... but I hate fucking liars.

So how's Dr. 'hotter-Mila-Kunis' going to react when you tell her you've given up?

Do you think she's into broken men?

[GORDON]

Personally, I've stopped giving a fuck and I figure if she is sedentary maybe she'll kill herself quicker.... but I hate fucking liars.

So how's Dr. 'hotter-Mila-Kunis' going to react when you tell her you've given up?

Do you think she's into broken men?

I told her last visit, and she pulled me out in the hall and told me she completely understood, and that I'd already been doing too much as it was.

[Malcolm]

She denied she's been playing more than a few minutes. She came up with this elaborate fantasy about all the things she did today, how she went out to lunch, visited the old lady next door, and other fun, wonderful things. None of it happened.

This bitch doesn't have dementia, she's just a fucking liar.

I fail to see the hard proof. Trip can be purely in her head.

[GORDON]

She denied she's been playing more than a few minutes. She came up with this elaborate fantasy about all the things she did today, how she went out to lunch, visited the old lady next door, and other fun, wonderful things. None of it happened.

This bitch doesn't have dementia, she's just a fucking liar.

I fail to see the hard proof. Trip can be purely in her head.

She also lets us know about all this housework she does, and how we should be more appreciative. The bitch doesn't do shit. We're lucky if she does dishes twice a week, and she says, "I do dishes every night! I maybe haven't done them two times since I've been here."

And this all sounds petty, but take it in context.

Tonight she stuck her face about six inches above my dinner plate because she thought what I was eating was gross and that's her way of showing it. I actually raised the arm to smack her away out of reflex, but fortunately stayed my hand.

Bitch is walking a fine line and it is a good thing I am going away in a few weeks for a vacation.