Let's say your SO was either 1) on a space mission gone awry, or 2) kidnapped with no trace/notice/anything whatsoever. (ie. No positive confirmation of death, but a complete lack of information)
How long do you wait/hope/try to get SO back, versus moving on with your life?
Hypothetical Scenarios
Hypothetical Scenarios
It's not me, it's someone else.
Hypothetical Scenarios
Judging by how many people hated Helen Hunt for moving on from Tom Hanks in Cast Away, I'm going to guess you're never supposed to move on.
In this hypothetical are you married, engaged, or dating? Do you have kids?
In this hypothetical are you married, engaged, or dating? Do you have kids?
"Happy slaves are the worst enemies of freedom." - Marie Von Ebner
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
Hypothetical Scenarios
eh. A day, maybe?
I have ensured my gf that in the event of her death, not to worry about me, because I WILL go on and I WILL be happy again.
She was comforted. Probably.
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In that movie, HH was a victim, as well. I didn't blame her. That situation sucked, sad all around.
I have ensured my gf that in the event of her death, not to worry about me, because I WILL go on and I WILL be happy again.
She was comforted. Probably.
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In that movie, HH was a victim, as well. I didn't blame her. That situation sucked, sad all around.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Hypothetical Scenarios
Totally agree.
I think the kids are really the biggest issue. If you have kids you can't start dating right away. You need to wait until they're at a point where they think you should start dating.
"Happy slaves are the worst enemies of freedom." - Marie Von Ebner
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
Hypothetical Scenarios
Actually, the worst thing HH did that night was offer to get in the car with him, and leave her daughter behind. I think she would have reversed that decision 5 minutes later, but the impulse was there.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Hypothetical Scenarios
I had quite a few hookups after my divorce, but my current gf is the first one my kid met. Like... 18 months after the divorce?
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
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Base it on your life.
Apparently Tom Hanks was gone 4 years in that movie?
Divorce is different. It's a known ending.
It's not me, it's someone else.
Hypothetical Scenarios
There was one week where 4 days in a row I dropped him off at school, then went straight to a different woman's house and banged her until it was time to get him from school.
Good week. And somehow I never got HPV.
Good week. And somehow I never got HPV.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Hypothetical Scenarios
Then I stand by what I said earlier. I can't move on until my kids move on. I would not want to hurt them or end up on Nancy Grace.
"Happy slaves are the worst enemies of freedom." - Marie Von Ebner
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
Hypothetical Scenarios
So let's say your kids are ready after 2 years... you move on?
It's not me, it's someone else.
Hypothetical Scenarios
I think 2 years is a bit soon. No way are your kids ready to see dad with a new woman after two years.
Where I am in life with one kid in high school and two more in middle school, I'd probably wait until they were all out of high school before I got into a long term serious relationship.
I wouldn't want my situation to affect them negatively, more so than it already has to be, considering their missing parent.
Plus, I'm a romantic. I'd be holding out hope for the return of my spouse and doing what I could to solve the mystery of their disappearance.
Now if you're just talking sex on the DL, I think that would probably occur when the opportunity presented itself and you were ready. When is that? Who knows? I know you'd better avoid jumping into the sack with someone three months after your spouse disappeared because you're already going to be the prime suspect. We're all adult enough to know that men need sex, and it's an absolutely driving feeling that can overtake your ability to think straight. When does your grief and coping finally give way to that desire?
I don't know. I assume the grief and survivor's guilt would be pretty rough to overcome for a while. I mean, what soulless monster is getting a handy in a movie theater while their spouse's fate is unknown and still a current event?
Where I am in life with one kid in high school and two more in middle school, I'd probably wait until they were all out of high school before I got into a long term serious relationship.
I wouldn't want my situation to affect them negatively, more so than it already has to be, considering their missing parent.
Plus, I'm a romantic. I'd be holding out hope for the return of my spouse and doing what I could to solve the mystery of their disappearance.
Now if you're just talking sex on the DL, I think that would probably occur when the opportunity presented itself and you were ready. When is that? Who knows? I know you'd better avoid jumping into the sack with someone three months after your spouse disappeared because you're already going to be the prime suspect. We're all adult enough to know that men need sex, and it's an absolutely driving feeling that can overtake your ability to think straight. When does your grief and coping finally give way to that desire?
I don't know. I assume the grief and survivor's guilt would be pretty rough to overcome for a while. I mean, what soulless monster is getting a handy in a movie theater while their spouse's fate is unknown and still a current event?
"Happy slaves are the worst enemies of freedom." - Marie Von Ebner
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
Hypothetical Scenarios
I don't know either.
According to my wife, 40 years isn't enough
It's not me, it's someone else.
Hypothetical Scenarios
Honestly, she's right.
For some people there is no length of time. Some will absolutely move on, but will still be forever tied to the missing person. If something happened to my wife I know I would think about her daily and compare my new romantic interests to her. Maybe I'd get her tastes mixed up with the new person's? Maybe I'd recall a memory with her and mistake it for the new person? And so on.
However, one MUST move on. If your wife died does she expect you to commit seppuku over her grave?
"Happy slaves are the worst enemies of freedom." - Marie Von Ebner
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
Hypothetical Scenarios
If I died is one thing. If there's the chance she's still alive, apparently I should wait forever.
It's not me, it's someone else.
Hypothetical Scenarios
Ah! So yeah, if you're talking to your female SO, the proper answer is "I would never stop searching the ends of the Earth for you my love."
"Happy slaves are the worst enemies of freedom." - Marie Von Ebner
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
Hypothetical Scenarios
Yes, and I gave the wrong answer. At a bad time of the month
It's not me, it's someone else.
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thibodeaux
- Posts: 8121
- Joined: Thu May 20, 2004 7:32 pm
Hypothetical Scenarios
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IiICcSH8iY
Hypothetical Scenarios
I laughed.
"Happy slaves are the worst enemies of freedom." - Marie Von Ebner
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell