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Posted: **Thu Apr 23, 2015 9:11 am**

So who wants one?

I have decided that since I am never going to have a royal bather or ass wiper, and I'm not getting any younger, maybe it's time to get a toilet that will wash and dry my bunghole for me after I drop a deuce. The ol' turd cutter doesn't clean itself, and I don't really enjoy using wad after wad of TP to clean the fudge factory after a shipment goes out, so hey... maybe it's time to go high tech.

The thing is.... holy shit are they expensive, so I'm still trying to talk myself into this idea. The wife'll be pissed but she isn't volunteering to clean the loaf dispenser so I don't see that she has any say in this since I will be the one building the new bathroom upstairs and I can probably just hide the cost anyway in the rest of the project.

Menard's has one of these for $1500:

http://www.amazon.com/Ove-SMA....&sr=8-5

There's even a remote control so you could leave and flush from 2 rooms away, if you wanted to.

So what do you all have for a throne? Are you still filthy animals taking a dump into dumb porcelain like a peasant?

Milk, milk, lemonade; around the corner, fudge is made.

Edited By GORDON on 1429794867

Posted: **Thu Apr 23, 2015 10:05 am**

After the EMP hits, you'll be the guy that no longer knows how to properly wipe your ass manually anymore.

Posted: **Thu Apr 23, 2015 10:07 am**

I have not yet reached the point in my life where my toilet needs to heat up, adjust for my ass, and tell me to have a pleasant day.

Although, if my wife wanted to get a toilet that does all that, I would not say no.

Posted: **Thu Apr 23, 2015 10:20 am**

... and tell me to have a pleasant day.

Inanimate objects that talk are possessed. Also, hearing things thank me after I've pissed on them gives me unrealistic expectations.

Posted: **Thu Apr 23, 2015 11:20 am**

Vince wrote:After the EMP hits, you'll be the guy that no longer knows how to properly wipe your ass manually anymore.

In a barter economy my beer making skills will ensure I will have all the serfs I need to wipe my ass for me.

Edited By GORDON on 1429802447

Posted: **Thu Apr 23, 2015 12:41 pm**

Malcolm wrote:
... and tell me to have a pleasant day.

Inanimate objects that talk are possessed. Also, hearing things thank me after I've pissed on them gives me unrealistic expectations.

On the other hand, think of the ego boost if your toilet would say, "Whoa, that is an impressive dump! You should take a picture of it and post it on facebook to impress your friends. Stand by..... I just did it for you. You da man!"

Edited By GORDON on 1429807342

Posted: **Thu Apr 23, 2015 12:47 pm**

Heh. Las tnight I just watched the episode of Better Call Saul that fits right into that.

"Give me more, Billy!"

Posted: **Mon Apr 27, 2015 9:01 am**

MY FB page is now throwing up ads for smart toilets.

Posted: **Mon Apr 27, 2015 9:06 am**

That's hilarious!

Posted: **Mon Apr 27, 2015 9:10 am**

Facebook has ads? Go go adblocker plugin.

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