Welcome to Thunderdome

Yeah so the next step of becoming a farmer has happened, I got chickens.

I wanted 3, the local farm store made me get 6... they said it was a state law. They have to sell a minimum of 6 at a time.


Got 2 each of 3 different breeds. I should have written down what they were because now I have no idea. They were 3-5 days old, and all hens... hopefully. I'm not going to be playing with no crowing rooster.


It was really cold in March so at first we had them in the living room under a heat lamp like really classy people. My son's cat found them fascinating.


But, he was remarably chill about them. Never batted nor bit when they were out.


The chick at the farm store (see what I did there?) said you should handle them a lot when they are babies so they will be chill when fully grown. The little fuckers almost always shit on you when you are holding them.


I was going over and over it whether to build a coop from scratch or buy a kit, and my uncertainty over learning new things caused me to just buy this one. I probably spent more on this than would have cost me to build one twice as big, from scratch... but whatev. It has the side doors for easy egg retrieval (apparently each hen will lay about 5 eggs a week), and you can't really see it but under the other sets of doors there are pull-out trays for "easy" cleaning every day. This pic is of us putting a layer of polyurethane over the whole thing before the first rain, and putting the chickens inside it. You can also see a stack of lumber behind the kid... very soon I am going to construct a large outdoor "run" for the chickens. Sort of like letting them roam around a corner of the yard, but the chickens will be protected from predators from every angle, even the sky. Apparently local hawks have a taste for chickens and if they find your flock they will start camping it and learning when you let them out. And apparently dogs love ripping chickens up. Some of the neighbors have large dogs that I see in my yard shitting, ocassionally. I have already contemplated whether after shooting one that goes after my chickens if I tell the neighbor, or just quickly bury it in the garden. Haven't decided yet.


They were really outgrowing that bin after a few weeks so I started putting them in the coop when it was still hitting the high 30's at night, so I put the heat lamp in with them.


These things are shitting machines and every day I have to spend about 25 minutes cleaning the shit out, and when it gets warm enough in the Summer for them to be out all day I need to take a hose to the entire thing... and it's only been a few weeks so far. These creatures are filthy.


But that's why we have kids, isn't it, so they can do our chores for us and build character.

The most recent of these pics is still about 3 weeks old. They are getting big, fast, and I will post a few more pics when the wife gets them on the server.

Quick story: I laughed out loud when one of the larger hens snapped at a large bee the other day, and missed, and the bee went for the chicken's face which scared the shit out of the chicken and it hauled ass back to the coop.

I will now open the floor for questions.

GORDON wrote:I wanted 3, the local farm store made me get 6... they said it was a state law. They have to sell a minimum of 6 at a time.

Internet consensus seems to be that other states have similar laws and that it's because parents would buy only a single chick for their kids as an Easter present and then chuck the little fucker animal cruelty-style when junior lost interest.

And apparently you can buy fewer than six in Ohio if you get them from a private seller, e.g. another farmer.

It's amusing that it would be an animal cruelty law when hundreds of thousands of male chicks get chucked alive into a pet food grinder every day.

And all the beak clipping and other measures for egg ckns.

Have you named them?

Are they just for eggs, or for frying?

Weird, I remember posting a response here, but I don't see it...

It's amusing that it would be an animal cruelty law when hundreds of thousands of male chicks get chucked alive into a pet food grinder every day.

I just watched that episode of American Dad.

I'll have to get you a PLT sample for your chickens. Should help with their health and well being.

Chicken names:

Lana
Zoey
Brooklyn
Duchess Poopsallot
Christine
Clara

They are for eggs, not cooking.

You should cook one of them just as a warning to the others.

I'm not going to be playing with no crowing rooster.

G can't trust himself around t3h c0ck.

I don't blame him. No one wants to be woken up every day by a cock in the crack of dawn.

Some people prefer it in another crack.

I keep thinking about getting chickens, but then I talk to people who have them.
It's not worth it to do it for the eggs, so you really have to want a bunch of dirty poop machines tearing up your yard.

They truly are filthy creatures.... But I have enough yard that they haven't torn any of it up, yet. I'll comment on that again at the end of the Summer.

Paul wrote:I keep thinking about getting chickens, but then I talk to people who have them.
It's not worth it to do it for the eggs, so you really have to want a bunch of dirty poop machines tearing up your yard.

Also in the "chickens for dummies" book at says (after startup costs) eggs pay for themselves, but with cooking birds you are lucky to break even, you just can't get the economy of scale that Big Chicken gets.

If you're heading this way during work hours, let me know. I have PLT samples for you.

Leisher wrote:If you're heading this way during work hours, let me know. I have PLT samples for you.

Next time I am I'll call.

I built them a dedicated tub full of sand and diatomaceous earth that chickens are supposed to love taking dust baths in, but as soon as they found my onion garden they dug it the fuck up and are bathing in it instead.

GORDON wrote:I built them a dedicated tub full of sand and diatomaceous earth that chickens are supposed to love taking dust baths in, but as soon as they found my onion garden they dug it the fuck up and are bathing in it instead.

Onions will make you cry, no matter what.

It really motivated me to get the run built. Spent about 5 hours on it today.

Here's the coop, the run is going up behind it, attached to both the coop and my shitty little garage, with 360 degree protection from predators, so I won't have to close the chickens off from it at night. Some nights, even though we're still hitting lower 50's, they spend the night in the tiny space under the coop... I guess they like the fresh air.





This is the dirt bath. They mostly just eat it. I looked that up.... turns out chickens like to fill their crop with "grit" to help them grind up seeds. So great, my chickens eat a lot of sand.


And here's my onion bed. Used to be blanketed with young Spring onions. These little fuckers.