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Posted: Sun May 31, 2015 5:00 pm
by Leisher
I had never seen this movie, but knew of its reputation.
A reputation it deserves.
Lori Petty has recovered, but it took her years to get past this film. Malcolm MacDowell clearly was here for the paycheck, and Ice Tea was able to hide behind a fuck ton of makeup.
I don't know who they made this movie for because it's all over the map. They cut back and forth from live action to stills to animation. The jokes range from stuff for kindergarteners to not even remotely subtle adult stuff.
The killing machine monsters turn out to be fucking dogs that are 10x worse than Ewoks. That's not a joke.
I could go into what's wrong with the story, dialogue, etc., but why bother? I'm sure it's been done to death.
This movie what George Lucas jerks off to...
Posted: Sun May 31, 2015 5:02 pm
by GORDON
The other day I wanted my wife to stop bugging me so I turned this on.
Posted: Sun May 31, 2015 11:04 pm
by Malcolm
Ugh. This disappointing waste of ninety minutes. Lori Petty could have made a decent tank girl with a non-shitty script. Well, except she's not remotely British.
The jokes range from stuff for kindergarteners to not even remotely subtle adult stuff.
Have you read the comics? That's exactly the gamut of humour they run. You might be able to get away with it there. The flick needed to play up the slightly more clever bits.
Malcolm MacDowell clearly was here for the paycheck, and Ice Tea was able to hide behind a fuck ton of makeup.
Malcolm had a questionable mid '90s resume. But Tank Girl was umpteen million times better than this. It makes Tank Girl look like Mad Max. Ice-T could at least blame the unbelievably bad story decision and costume limitations. He's supposed to be a mutated kangaroo. But yes, he looks like someone who was the communal practice dummy for a high school theatre makeup class with exclusively blind students.
Why can't anyone remake this? It was so fucking bad, you've got almost nowhere to go but up. Same with Johnny Mnemonic.
Edited By Malcolm on 1433127916
Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2015 11:18 am
by TPRJones
The killing machine monsters turn out to be fucking dogs that are 10x worse than Ewoks. That's not a joke.
Kangaroos.
And I rather enjoyed this movie. It's awful and ... well, just really really bad. But I nonetheless enjoyed it.
I also rather enjoyed Johnny Mnemonic.
I have no shame.
Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2015 1:28 pm
by Vince
TPRJones wrote:I also rather enjoyed Johnny Mnemonic.
Me too, but I blame that on Dolph Lundgren being in it. He's like Christopher Lee to me. No matter how bad the movie he's in is, it's made watchable by his being in it.
Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2015 1:34 pm
by Malcolm
Vince wrote:TPRJones wrote:I also rather enjoyed Johnny Mnemonic.
Me too, but I blame that on Dolph Lundgren being in it. He's like Christopher Lee to me. No matter how bad the movie he's in is, it's made watchable by his being in it.
Don't delve too deeply into his direct-to-vid collection, then, if you want to keep that illusion.
EDIT: It is weird that the Street Preacher in Johnny Mnemonic was the best character in there, despite being invented specifically for the movie.
Edited By Malcolm on 1433180126