Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2015 11:04 am
This looked thoroughly awful, so I DVR'd it. MST3K needs to come back. Or perhaps we can make 3K1 and start things off by reviewing flick. The quality is reminiscent of some aimless middle schoolers LARPing with a Mad Max motif if Alison Lohan and Jamie Lynn Spears instructed them in acting.
Things I noticed:
- "Walls" made of concrete seem to flutter in the wind as motorcycles ridden by the cheapest stuntmen money could buy whoosh alongside them at speeds as dizzying as 15mph.
- Guns don't really fire bullets, but that's fine because the special effects department couldn't be bothered with makeup, blanks, blood packs, or anything else beyond their imagination.
- I don't know who did the syncing for the audio tracks that were dubbed over non-English speaking actors' parts, but Helen Keller could have done a better job.
- The climactic battle of the movie is a grand assault of three, count 'em THREE, people against a small army of armed goons. Two of them are chained up, might I add. That means it's really just one guy. He was a hobo living on the side of the road twenty film minutes ago, and he's now stomping the fuck out of the biggest, baddest gang in post-apocalyptic ... somewhere. The same gang which rapes, pillages, and plunders entire towns on a daily basis.
Verdict:
I kept expecting Rainier Wolfcastle to make a cameo.
Things I noticed:
- "Walls" made of concrete seem to flutter in the wind as motorcycles ridden by the cheapest stuntmen money could buy whoosh alongside them at speeds as dizzying as 15mph.
- Guns don't really fire bullets, but that's fine because the special effects department couldn't be bothered with makeup, blanks, blood packs, or anything else beyond their imagination.
- I don't know who did the syncing for the audio tracks that were dubbed over non-English speaking actors' parts, but Helen Keller could have done a better job.
- The climactic battle of the movie is a grand assault of three, count 'em THREE, people against a small army of armed goons. Two of them are chained up, might I add. That means it's really just one guy. He was a hobo living on the side of the road twenty film minutes ago, and he's now stomping the fuck out of the biggest, baddest gang in post-apocalyptic ... somewhere. The same gang which rapes, pillages, and plunders entire towns on a daily basis.
Verdict:
I kept expecting Rainier Wolfcastle to make a cameo.