The Avengers

As long as we recognize Lucas is washed up and most TV sucks, we'll all get along fine.
Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

Bringing everyone else their beverages?
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Post by GORDON »

And he clenches up.
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Post by Leisher »

I can buy Batman, a normal human, hanging with with and getting respect from a group of demi-gods, aliens, and metahumans because he's the fucking Batman and his paranoia reaches levels that makes the bastard offspring of Stalin and Kim Jong Il look well adjusted.


Because a guy who is exceptional with a bow and arrow is far less believable than a billionaire who doesn't care about money or all the pussy that's thrown at him, and instead puts himself in harm's way every night by fighting street criminals, aliens, gods, super villains, etc. with his bare hands.
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

Batman hangs with Superman, Wonder Women, the Martian Manhunter, and survives fights with their cosmic, extra-dimensional, and demonic foes. Batman's got more than a fucking bow and arrow.
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Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
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Post by GORDON »

This reminds me of Budapest.
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Post by Leisher »

Hawkeye hangs with Captain America, Hulk, Iron Man, Wolverine, Thor, etc. and survives fights with their cosmic, extra-dimensional, and demonic foes.

Hawkeye routinely uses anything as a weapon, and doesn't just rely on a bow and arrow.

He also isn't a billionaire with abandonment issues who likes to befriend little boys.
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

No, he's a circus reject that bitches out his wife for killing the dude that effectively raped her.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
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Post by Leisher »

Who? Hawkeye isn't married. He was married to Mockingbird, but that ended a long time ago.

And I'll still take a married guy over Jerry Sandusky in a S&M outfit.
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

Leisher wrote:Who? Hawkeye isn't married. He was married to Mockingbird, but that ended a long time ago.
That's the one.

Sexual innuendo aside, Batman's got the car, the plane, the cave, and secret files on how to kill damn near anyone in the entire DC world if need be. I challenge Hawkeye does not.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
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Post by GORDON »

He doesn't need them, he'll just kill them when he feels like it.
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Post by Leisher »

Batman's got the car, the plane, the cave, and secret files on how to kill damn near anyone in the entire DC world if need be. I challenge Hawkeye does not.


And that's why Hawkeye wins.

Batman has serious mental problems. His mom and dad were killed in front of him 30 years ago, but he can't let it go. Instead he has spent his life dedicated to living in the past trying to change the outcome of that night.

On top of that, he hasn't earned shit. His parents made the money, and he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Trustees run all of his companies while he's out getting beat down every night.

The Joker is right, Batman needs him. If all crime disappeared, Batman would probably turn into the a villain to fill that emotional scar he can't let go. He doesn't kill, but I think that's for himself, so the game he's playing can go on forever. Seriously, how many folks have died because Batman didn't break Joker's neck the first time they fought?

And what kind of psycho keeps files on how to kill his friends? Paranoid much?

Meanwhile, Hawkeye is from the streets. He did the villain thing and left it behind. Now he's on the side of angels and banging hotties.

He doesn't need to keep files on how to kill his friends because they're his friends. And Clint Barton will put one in your skull if your actions warrant it.

Hawkeye - Sane. Likes the ladies. Self-made. Good guy. Ironically has an attitude like Malcolm.

Batman - Emotionally damaged. Spoiled brat. Possible child molester. Good guy who lets innocents die because he doesn't want blood on his hands.

This is fun.
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Post by GORDON »

You'd better make a decision, I'm starting to like this guy.
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

On top of that, he hasn't earned shit. His parents made the money, and he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Trustees run all of his companies while he's out getting beat down every night.

Bullshit. He wasn't born with an innate mastery of martial arts, engineering, and sciences. Is it easier for him than someone who's flat broke? Yeah.

Trustees run all of his companies while he's out getting beat down every night.

Because they don't have the chops to run around policing an entire berg the size of New York.

The Joker is right, Batman needs him. If all crime disappeared, Batman would probably turn into the a villain to fill that emotional scar he can't let go. He doesn't kill, but I think that's for himself, so the game he's playing can go on forever. Seriously, how many folks have died because Batman didn't break Joker's neck the first time they fought?

He kills, he just doesn't do it intentionally or frequently. As for his non-lethality, without it, he's just Azrael. With it, he's a richer version of the Punisher. With no criminals in Gotham, he might get the superhero version of cabin fever and up and move to a place with more. Batman is not a dude that exists without conflict. He's an irresponsible dumbass in public and pragmatic bastard in private; he can't bring himself to stop his one-man vigilante war by hanging up the cowl, but he's not able to stop it by straight up murder, either. Bruce Wayne just needs to build his own jail complex and stop handing over the crooks to Arkham.

And what kind of psycho keeps files on how to kill his friends? Paranoid much?

Just because you're paranoid doesn't make you wrong. This seems particularly true if your closest friends are all superpowered and have the nasty tendency to get mind-controlled on occasion.

Sane ... Ironically has an attitude like Malcolm.

This seems contradictory.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
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Post by TPRJones »

Batman has spent his life working hard to be the best at everything. Everything. Not just karate and detective work and whatnot, but also gardening and ballet and hopscotch.

Image

Image

Sorry, but Hawkeye just can't bring that level of comedy to the table. Batman wins.




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Post by GORDON »

TPRJones wrote:Sorry, but Hawkeye just can't bring that level of comedy to the table. Batman wins.
That isn't Batman making a joke, that is Batman being the joke.

Advantage Hawkeye, I think.
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Post by TPRJones »

I care not from whence the jokes come. I only care that they are there.

Advantage Batman. Hell, advantage Adam West as Batman, really.
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Post by GORDON »

Batman has had too long in the public consciousness. Hawkeye can't compare with the satirical options available to The Goddam Batman.



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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

Hawkeye's been around since the '60s. And to answer to Hawkeye's telling Captain American to fuck off, I won't go into how many times Bats has said the same to the entire Justice League.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
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Post by GORDON »

I didn't even know Hawkeye existed until about 3 years ago, I have known about Batman since about 1975. I stand by what I said.
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Post by TPRJones »

So your argument is that because Batman is better and more popular therefore Hawkeye wins?

Okay.
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