Work

Post by **GORDON** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 9:37 pm

Malcolm wrote:
GORDON wrote:
Malcolm wrote:"Where do you see yourself in five years?"
"Doin your wife" is the classic answer.
If it takes you five years, you're moving too slow.

*Don't say doin your wife... don't say doin your wife...*

"Doing your.... son?"

~Peter Griffin

Post by **Leisher** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 9:38 pm

You were beaten to the punch by 1 minute.

Edited By Leisher on 1425609517

Post by **GORDON** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 9:39 pm

You non-search-understanding motherfucker

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Fri Mar 06, 2015 2:47 pm

Quote of the day during a meeting:

"I think the code's still there from the last time we took a dump."

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:18 pm

Pi Day. FML. A "minimum pieces of flair"-type speech was given to us and while we were told we can theoretically opt out the hell am I about to describe, we were also reminded of the "mandatory fun" goal that was forced into all our performance reviews this year.

1) pie baking contest ... Not a bad start.

2) random shitty videos involving the theme of pi. Quality is somewhere between public access TV and you and your college buddies drunk with a video camera. It really goes downhill from here.

3) 30 motherfucking minute presentation on mnemonic devices you can use to memorize pi to over 200 digits. Because I need that on a daily basis.

4) team pi recitation contest. It's the retard version of a spelling bee, except with the digits 0-9 arranged in random patterns then handed out in lots of 10. First team up went through 600 digits. Obviously someone's fucking team doesn't have enough work to do.

5) team math competition. No calculators or looking up of formula. Because everyone remembers how to calculate the surface area of a torus and enjoys doing long division by hand.

Post by **GORDON** » Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:23 pm

I have used the Pythagorean Theorem a few times in the last few years. Not bad for a non-engineer. Also calculated a slope. b.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:24 pm

I can't believe I remembered what a transcendental number was.

Post by **GORDON** » Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:25 pm

no wait slope is m. Where the line crosses y is b.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:26 pm

GORDON wrote:no wait slope is m. Where the line crosses y is b.

The y-intercept?

Post by **GORDON** » Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:28 pm

word.

I slept through high school algebra and geometry, and my grades reflected that, but I still remember that shit.

Edited By GORDON on 1426285732

Post by **TheCatt** » Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:33 pm

I imagined how one would calculate the surface area of a torus in my head... wonder if I'm right?

We had Pi day at work today too.

We ordered Pizza (pie) for everyone in the building, then had a Pi baking contest.

Post by **thibodeaux** » Fri Mar 13, 2015 7:51 pm

TheCatt wrote:I imagined how one would calculate the surface area of a torus in my head... wonder if I'm right?

It's an integral.

Post by **TheCatt** » Fri Mar 13, 2015 10:03 pm

thibodeaux wrote:
TheCatt wrote:I imagined how one would calculate the surface area of a torus in my head... wonder if I'm right?
It's an integral.

Well, then, since that was part of what I figured out, I'll just assume I got the rest right too.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Sat Mar 14, 2015 12:53 pm

It's like stacking circles in a line, except the line happens to be circular. Was thinking about it.

Find the circumference of the circle with the major axis, Cmaj. You now have the straight line length around your big circle. The surface area is all the showy bits of the slices making up the big circle. Showy bits = circumference with the minor axis, Cmin. You could use an integral to figure it out. But it seems there ought to be a brainless formula for determining things in terms of Cmaj and Cmin.

Surface Area = 4 × pi^2 × R × r

Volume = 2 × pi^2 × R × r^2

I'm sure it's reverse engineerable from that.

Edited By Malcolm on 1426352161

Post by **TPRJones** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 8:39 pm

Screw pi. Tau forever, bitches.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 11:45 pm

Bah. The number e is much more interesting.

Post by **TheCatt** » Wed Jun 24, 2015 12:06 pm

Oh work.

So I work for a company that loves me. CEO knows me, VP loves me, etc, etc. But the company is kinda incompetent. Like we make really good products, then do something stupid in the mfg process that causes stuff to fail. 3 times now within the past 5 years.

So I get paid well, but I also am eligible for a 15% bonus. For the past 3 years the bonuses have been:
2 years ago: 0%
Last year: 60% (So, 9% of the 15%)
This year: 0% <-- I'm guessing, we find out next week for sure. We were having a record year until it turns out we fucked up yet another manufacturing process.

Grrr.

Money ain't everything... but damn.

Just wanted to vent.

The only nice thing about this company is they let me moonlight on the side, which is about 2x the $ that the bonus would be. A new client called me up and wanted me to visit them in Boston.

Guess who's getting on a plane?

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Wed Jun 24, 2015 12:13 pm

I got zero raise last year because my manager decided to be an ass and blame me for her not understanding IT tech from the last quarter of a century.

Edited By Malcolm on 1435162476

Post by **TheCatt** » Wed Jun 24, 2015 12:25 pm

Malcolm wrote:I got zero raise last year because my manager decided to be an ass and blame me for her not understanding IT tech from the last quarter of a century.

I've gotten great reviews and raises. I probably make more than everyone in the department except 2-3 people (out of 90).

Just suck bonuses.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Wed Jun 24, 2015 12:35 pm

I'm on double secret probation because I have "communication" issues. Fuckwits.