TPRJones wrote:You can if you lay down all but the driver's seat and don't mind driving home completely surrounded by split logs. Although it's not good for your suspension.
Subaru station wagons - the olds ones, at least - are very roomy in there.
This might even be more manly than hauling the wood in a pickup since you're one otherwise minor traffic accident away from being crushed.
Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2015 11:46 pm
by TPRJones
Bonus danger points if you have to stack some wood under your ass in the driver's seat and around the pedals and shifter to get it all in.
Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2015 9:28 pm
by GORDON
So last Fall we had a wind storm and it knocked down this big-ass tree into a tall pine in the back part of my property. Some of the limbs were resting on power lines so I called the power company to come get this shit before it knocked out power.... I told the guys to cut the tree off of the pine, too, but those lazy fuckers didn't want to so they just cut the limbs hitting the power line and left to go be lazy somewhere else.
So I've been cleaning up that big ass tree, chainsawing limbs off here and there as I have had time, burning the brush in my fire pit, generally cleaning it up.... and I was finally down to the trunk and a few huge branches that by themselves probably had a 4 foot circumference.... meaning, that shit was heavy and I didn't really want to get up on it to cut only to have the weight shift and roll on top of me because that would just piss me off and I'd go all Hulk and wreck half the town. So as a favor to errybody else I brought my kickass 4x4 out there.
Then I hooked up a 5500lb chain to that son of a bitch
Pulled that bitch tight and had one last look around before I started yanking on it
The first pull and it wouldn't roll. I had to get the chainsaw and cut the base a bit. I couldn't tell how much of it was still attached the way it fell, but it must have had a good hold because I had all 4 tires spinning in the dirt.
I moved over a bit for the second try but same outcome... that chain was strong enough to stop my truck dead and I had 4 tires spinning in the dirt.
Took one more pass with the chainsaw... actually cut down too far and hit dirt and dulled the shit out of my chain, god damn it, but this time I totally severed it. I have an 18" bar on my chainsaw and I had it balls deep in that big mother fucker.
So the third pull and that mother fuck rolled perfectly. The blanket was in case the chain snapped MAYBE the broken end wouldn't go through my back truck window and hit my gun rack and giant testicles.
Here the holes I dug in the dirt, spun all 4 tires twice.
I mean seriously, how do YOU roll a big-ass tree off your tall pine with your little feminine cars??? Do you actually just call for help like a little bitch??????????????
Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2015 9:55 pm
by Malcolm
I burn it to ash, like a real man.
Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2015 9:56 pm
by GORDON
The entire point was to salvage the pine, dawg.
It'll get burned to ash when I am good and god damned ready, probably next summer when the wood is seasoned.
I may burn a nice hunk of beef over its coals for my enjoyment.
Edited By GORDON on 1438999148
Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2015 10:17 pm
by TPRJones
I mean seriously, how do YOU roll a big-ass tree off your tall pine with your little feminine cars?
My apartment has neither big ass-trees nor tall pines.
Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2015 11:31 pm
by Alhazad
GORDON wrote:I may burn a nice hunk of beef over its coals for my enjoyment.
Usually we eat the beef, Gordon.
Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2015 3:21 pm
by GORDON
TheCatt wrote:Do people do those things outside of truck commercials?
Without a truck how do you even move a ton of dirt to be unloaded by your strong sons?
And then chicks can ride horses out to your back property to see what you're doing with that big truck?
I just dont even
Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2015 3:45 pm
by Leisher
Without a truck how do you even move a ton of dirt to be unloaded by your strong sons?
You have a son, not sons. And why is he doing the Nazi salute?
Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2015 3:46 pm
by GORDON
Don't act like you're not impressed. I bet you don't even truck.
Edited By GORDON on 1439149603
Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2015 6:20 pm
by Troy
I rent a truck for the ~3 weeks a year I need it. It's like 400 a week.
Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2015 9:48 pm
by TheCatt
Gordon's other son
Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2015 10:25 pm
by Malcolm
And then chicks can ride horses out to your back property to see what you're doing with that big truck?
What you do with your vehicle's tailpipe is your biz.
Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 10:12 am
by Leisher
GORDON wrote:Don't act like you're not impressed. I bet you don't even truck.
I do not. My father in law has a truck I have access to anytime I want, so I drive a car. I get better gas mileage, it's cheaper, I'm not skidding everywhere in the winter, I don't look like I'm compensating for anything, etc.
I will say that the recent commercials for...was it Chevy?... where they sat the focus group down and showed them a picture of a guy in front of a car and the same guy in front of a truck and asked their impressions was embarrassing for truck owners.
What does it say about someone when they can be ego stroked like that into a major purchase?
Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 10:26 am
by TheCatt
A real man bikes.
Right?
Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 11:08 am
by Leisher
I always preferred biking and swimming to jogging.
Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 12:11 pm
by GORDON
Leisher wrote:
GORDON wrote:Don't act like you're not impressed. I bet you don't even truck.
I do not. My father in law has a truck I have access to anytime I want, so I drive a car. I get better gas mileage, it's cheaper, I'm not skidding everywhere in the winter, I don't look like I'm compensating for anything, etc.
I will say that the recent commercials for...was it Chevy?... where they sat the focus group down and showed them a picture of a guy in front of a car and the same guy in front of a truck and asked their impressions was embarrassing for truck owners.
What does it say about someone when they can be ego stroked like that into a major purchase?
See here I am actually providing photographic evidence that I use my truck as a truck, and I get "just compensating for something."
Y'all have issues. A truck might fix them, but probably not.
Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 12:17 pm
by Malcolm
GORDON wrote:
Leisher wrote:
GORDON wrote:Don't act like you're not impressed. I bet you don't even truck.
I do not. My father in law has a truck I have access to anytime I want, so I drive a car. I get better gas mileage, it's cheaper, I'm not skidding everywhere in the winter, I don't look like I'm compensating for anything, etc.
I will say that the recent commercials for...was it Chevy?... where they sat the focus group down and showed them a picture of a guy in front of a car and the same guy in front of a truck and asked their impressions was embarrassing for truck owners.
What does it say about someone when they can be ego stroked like that into a major purchase?
See here I am actually providing photographic evidence that I use my truck as a truck, and I get "just compensating for something."
Y'all have issues. A truck might fix them, but probably not.
A functional crutch is still a crutch.
Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 12:19 pm
by GORDON
Yeah, you guys probably shouldn't bother.
Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 12:22 pm
by Leisher
GORDON wrote:
Leisher wrote:
GORDON wrote:Don't act like you're not impressed. I bet you don't even truck.
I do not. My father in law has a truck I have access to anytime I want, so I drive a car. I get better gas mileage, it's cheaper, I'm not skidding everywhere in the winter, I don't look like I'm compensating for anything, etc.
I will say that the recent commercials for...was it Chevy?... where they sat the focus group down and showed them a picture of a guy in front of a car and the same guy in front of a truck and asked their impressions was embarrassing for truck owners.
What does it say about someone when they can be ego stroked like that into a major purchase?
See here I am actually providing photographic evidence that I use my truck as a truck, and I get "just compensating for something."
Y'all have issues. A truck might fix them, but probably not.
To be fair, you were mocking those who don't have a truck.
If I lived in the boonies managing what is becoming a suburban farm, I would probably have a truck myself.
However, I don't and aside from moving I need the use of a truck maybe once a year.
