Work

Post by **TheCatt** » Fri Nov 16, 2012 12:34 pm

We had layoffs at my company today. I'm in management, and we had a management meeting this morning.

The executives spent 2 minutes saying "we have revenue challenges and will be laying off a small # of people." Then 10 minutes going through crap about "survivorship guilt," etc.

First question: How many people were laid off and what is the budget impact?
EVP: We don't think it's appropriate to discuss that.

WHAT. THE. FUCK?

Post by **thibodeaux** » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:04 pm

2nd question: Will we still be making twinkies?

Post by **Troy** » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:21 pm

EVP's actual answer "Fuck if we know, were just going to start firing people until the red numbers turn black."

Post by **TheCatt** » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:42 pm

Follow-on management meeting:
Mgr: I heard (blah blah blah) was let go.
Other Mgr: I heard (blah blah blah2) was let go.
Me: Is there just a simple list so we can stop rumouring and conjecturing?
Director: I don't think there's going to be one.

I'm clearly not cut out for this crap.

Post by **GORDON** » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:45 pm

Obviously you and your peers are not high enough up to be filled in on what's going on in your company.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:45 pm

"Why are you doing a keg stand in the middle of my 'laying people off' speech"?

"It's not appropriate to discuss that at this time. Maybe when they keg's empty."

Edited By Malcolm on 1353091937

Post by **TheCatt** » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:48 pm

The worst part is, there's PLENTY of people we could have let go of cuz THEY FUCKING SUCK.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:51 pm

TheCatt wrote:The worst part is, there's PLENTY of people we could have let go of cuz THEY FUCKING SUCK.

You can bet they suck at their work, but they're awesome at sucking up. If only they could find a job that consisted solely of sucking up. Personal assistant, congressional page, financial risk adviser for a major investment firm?

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Fri Nov 16, 2012 4:38 pm

Hmm, the execs sent out a letter today at my workplace. Vague and nondescript as possible. "Some people don't have jobs," but nothing more specific.

Post by **TheCatt** » Fri Nov 16, 2012 7:14 pm

Hahahahaha, it must be going around.

At any rate, in our department of 60, 2 people were let go. 1 was the admin assistant for the group, who, while young, cute, friendly, and great to have, wasn't super good at actual work.

The other, I was upset about because I thought he had been doing really well. Finally got the director alone later in the day. Yes, he had been doing great, they had made him a $100k+ offer, etc. And he failed the drug test.

Sucks cuz I've known the guy off/on since high school, and this was about the best I'd ever seen him doing at a job.

So, I spoke with the director for a while about how the process went down, etc... felt better afterwards, given the same situations, I would have done the same as him.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Fri Nov 16, 2012 7:31 pm

Haven't heard anyone from my team get the axe. One's leaving for another position at another place for 20% more pay.

And he failed the drug test.

The standard piss test? He failed that? You're shitting me. That alone should be a rejection for a job doing anything that requires $100K worth of pain per year. Don't trust his forethought or on-the-fly thinking.

Post by **thibodeaux** » Fri Nov 16, 2012 7:37 pm

They told me if I voted for Romney, companies would start laying off employees. AND THEY WERE RIGHT.

Post by **TheCatt** » Fri Nov 16, 2012 9:36 pm

Yeah, a piss test. Normal every day piss test.

Post by **GORDON** » Fri Nov 16, 2012 9:46 pm

I wonder if a piss test is still grounds for dismissal in WA and CO.

Post by **Cakedaddy** » Fri Nov 16, 2012 9:50 pm

60 people. 2 were let go. I predict, 9 more.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Fri Nov 16, 2012 10:03 pm

TheCatt wrote:Yeah, a piss test. Normal every day piss test.

Here's my new interview process. I'm going to line up all the candidates a bit over a week before the actual interview and have them each drink a normal looking glass of clear liquid and pass it off as water.

"Alright, you've all just ingested a liquid with trace amounts of up to three different illicit substances. It's not enough to get you high and you've all got different combinations, but it's enough that it will show up on the drug test I'll have you all taking in seven days. Whoever passes continues to the actual interviews."

Edited By Malcolm on 1353121421

Post by **TheCatt** » Sat Nov 17, 2012 8:07 am

Cakedaddy wrote:60 people. 2 were let go. I predict, 9 more.

Only 2 were let go: Our admin, and the drug test failure, who had been a contractor, and had an offer to go perm.

Rest of company hit harder.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Wed Mar 04, 2015 9:38 pm

At work today, we had to troubleshoot a website problem. Mixed content coming through. Roughly means our HTTPS website had an insecure (HTTP) resource somewhere, and we couldn't find it or make it happen on any machine except the client.

After some analysis, I determined why.

Problem 1: We don't use IE. The client does.
Problem 2: Our website kicks IE into IE v7 emulation.
Problem 3: IE didn't care about mixed content until v9.

We have to support every version of IE MS does, so we cater to lowest common denominator. Argh motherfucker.

Post by **Troy** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 12:35 pm

I got my first ever promotion at work this week

Senior Consultant.

Post by **GORDON** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 12:43 pm

Troy wrote:I got my first ever promotion at work this week Senior Consultant.

Congrats.

If the mental arithmetic I barely feel like doing is correct, you are still in your mid 20's. Watch out for jealous older guys at this point who you may have just surpassed. Happened to me and it can cause problems.