The Republican Party

[Malcolm]

WHAT THE FUCK is Ted Cruz smoking?

As tensions between Ted Cruz and Donald Trump have been rising over the past few weeks, Cruz openly joked about running over his GOP rival during a Wednesday interview on "Jimmy Kimmel Live."

When asked if the billionaire was the person he disliked the most in America, Cruz replied, "If I were in my car getting ready to reverse and saw Donald in the backup camera, I'm not confident which pedal I'd push."

Holy fucking shit. You're running against the biggest douchebag that's had a realistic shot at a nomination in awhile. You aren't going to out-douche him. Stop trying.

[TPRJones]

I can't fault Cruz there. He's used to being the douchiest guy around. It's natural he'd be jealous.

[Malcolm]

Kasich going slightly mad.

[Malcolm]

Ben Carson is apparently a commie who thinks "money" = "slavery." But don't ask me, ask Ben Carson.

“The effort to rush this through under the current Obama administration is nothing short of national disgrace…”

The famed neurosurgeon argued that if Tubman were put on a bill, she’d become the face of “debt slavery” similar to the slavery she fought in life. “At the current level, the national debt is almost $20 trillion, a cost of over $60,000 dollars for every citizen in this country… At today’s average income of roughly $50,000, it would take that child more than three years of slave labor to repay the debt they are born with,” Carson argued.

[GORDON]

I was told 6, 5, 4, and 3 years ago that debt spending was GREAT! for the economy, and if I didn't like it I was a racist, so....

[TPRJones]

And you were dumb enough to believe that?

[GORDON]

No but I learned to keep my mouth shut before the dangerous accusations started flying.

[Vince]

Ben Carson is the man having us all question the validity of the phrase, "well, it's not brain surgery."

[TheCatt]

Ben Carson is the man having us all question the validity of the phrase, "well, it's not brain surgery."

Right?

Carson: I support Trump because I believe in science

Read more: http://www.politico.com/blogs/2016-gop- ... z46yQfZQxX
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[Malcolm]

In another striking example of open bribery in Congress...

Republican Arkansas Sen. Tom Cotton spoke out against bipartisan efforts to reform America's criminal justice system at a conservative think tank in Washington on Thursday, saying, "If anything, we have an under-incarceration problem."

That's right, we're not throwing enough people in jail yet.

"Law enforcement is able to arrest or identify a likely perpetrator for only 19% of property crimes and 47% of violent crimes. If anything, we have an under-incarceration problem," Cotton said.

That's because law enforcement won't seriously investigate most of them unless you're rich and/or well-connected.

"The truth is you cannot decrease the severity and certainty of sentences without increasing crime," Cotton said. "It's simply impossible."

It's hard to argue with that brand of logic.

[Alhazad]

"The truth is you cannot decrease the severity and certainty of sentences without increasing crime," Cotton said. "It's simply impossible."

It's hard to argue with that brand of logic.

Reclassify former crimes as legal. Boom.

[Malcolm]

Paul Ryan does his best Edward Smith impersonation.

The Wisconsin Republican told NBC's "Meet the Press" that "the last thing I would do is tell anybody to do something that's contrary to their conscience. Of course I wouldn't do that."

Ryan, who has given a tepid endorsement to Trump, said he understands he is in a "very strange situation" to be supporting the party's presumptive nominee while not urging his fellow lawmakers to follow suit. But he said Trump is "a very unique nominee."

I can't fucking remember the last time a party was this reticent about supporting a nominee.


Paul Ryan, seen here explaining what Drumpf's dick looks like under an electron microscope at full magnification.

[Malcolm]

Reality TV Party introduces Zika bill with partisan trappings. Naturally it's been shot down by the other side and now they're both blaming each other.

[Malcolm]

Reality TV party doubles down on self-destruction.

In a stunningly tone-deaf development, the Republican party has decided to use its party’s platform to weigh in on the transgender bathroom issue.

And here, they're asking the states to ignore the Supreme Court and US Constitution:

The Republican Party will reportedly shift its platform language to drop calls for a federal marriage amendment even though it still calls for state governments to recognize that marriage is between a man and a woman.

In another banner decision, pachyderm douchebags hate bud so much, they want people who legally sell it to die during robberies to appease their ivory tower moral bullshit.

The Senate recently approved legislation to protect banks against repercussions if they do business with marijuana dispensaries, but a Republican-controlled committee blocked a similar amendment in the House.

One of the co-sponsors, Rep. Dennis Heck (D-Wash.), mentioned slain Colorado pot store guard Travis Mason after the GOP action. Heck told the National Journal that “every single member who opposed allowing this amendment ought to have that young man’s name tattooed on their body to remind them.”

Thanks for not letting dispensaries do biz with banks, fucktards. I hope your collective conscience is worth the security guards dying. I'm beginning to change my hopes for the next crop of Congressional pricks. I hope the jack-asses own both the executive and legislative branches for two solid terms, with a majority in both houses. Maybe, just maybe the brain-dead Reality TV Party will get shocked back to life. But they obviously haven't been smacked down hard enough yet to knock all the stupid out of them.

[Malcolm]

Pachyderms fuck over remaining hope of not nominating a candidate who's less of a man than Hillary.

[Malcolm]

HAHAHAHAHA.

[Leisher]

All of these links should be consider NSFW because of the content.

Guy talks 100 women into posing naked to protest RNC.

Here's his website with the NSFW photo.

The most hilarious part is if you visit him on Twitter. He's getting blasted because people are seeing the nudity and have NO IDEA what the hell the photo is about. Most think it's got to do with nudity rights and are challenging him to do the same protest at the DNC because it's not a partisan issue.

The "Women's Statements" from his website are sad. They're sad when you consider how out of touch the Republicans are, and they're sad when you realize how out of touch these women are...

[GORDON]

...and they're sad when you realize how out of touch these women are...

They certainly seem to Care Deeply about stuff they can't change.

[Alhazad]

...and they're sad when you realize how out of touch these women are...

They certainly seem to Care Deeply about stuff they can't change.

Invite them to this site.

[Malcolm]

"Purge them".

Senator Jeff Flake, Republican of Arizona, an outspoken critic of Mr. Trump who plans to skip the convention, said more bluntly that the party should be prepared to break with Mr. Trump and the voters who have cheered his pledges to deport millions of undocumented immigrants and ban Muslims from entering the country.

“You’ve got to hope that, if this race keeps going the way it looks to be going, that it’s enough of a jolt to wake people up and say we don’t want to be relegated to second place in every future presidential campaign,” Mr. Flake said.

He suggested a purge of racists from the party that would recall the expulsion of the John Birch Society, a fringe nationalist group, from Republican ranks a half-century ago.

“Those who want a Muslim ban, those who will disparage individuals or groups — yes, we ought to, we need to,” Mr. Flake said.

You're in the wrong party, Jeff.