Welcome to Thunderdome

Without giving too much away, I was concerned that one of the characters, by book 3, was becoming a Mary Sue. But...

is the guy from Slumdog Millionaire a Mary Sue? He knows each question of the contest, because of specific instances in his life. It isn't just because he's just super cool and smart.

I did the same with my character. Every challenge she faces later in the story, it's because of something else that happened to her earlier. It isn't just because she's Wonder Woman, now. She draws on experiences and lessons, her wisdom, and overcomes.

I think I did it right. Others may disagree. Just like how I think I showed how John ruined Erin in book 1, and Erin had no idea. I feel it's honest, and I feel like it's probably something that happens to girls and women every day. Others may disagree.

This is why I think these three books constitute an amazing arc. You don't recognize the characters by the end, compared to the beginning.

If I'm 35% through, did I get to the part that people stop reading at? Hmm, 35% of 308 says page ~108.

Approx. When Erin starts reliving her life, and what John did to her.

I've seen a few numbers that looked like people read 120ish pages, and then stopped. Or it could possibly have been one person reading 100 pages at a time, several days apart. Dunno. Still not getting much feedback... just silence...

I'm almost done.

What kind of feedback do you want?

A 5-star amazon review, with a few sentences about the merits of the story.

Catt and I have done a lot of private discussion tonight, his opinion seems to be generally good, hard to read in the middle, and my timeline/structure changes were noticeable, but overall it was serviceable, for a first-time author.

He also has me considering taking it offline and rewriting it, again.

So, Leisher read it, let me know what you think, and I'll think about next steps.

If I remove it from the Kindle store, peeps who bought it get to keep it, right?

GORDON wrote: If I remove it from the Kindle store, peeps who bought it get to keep it, right?

Pretty sure, yes.

GORDON wrote: Catt and I have done a lot of private discussion tonight, his opinion seems to be generally good, hard to read in the middle, and my timeline/structure changes were noticeable, but overall it was serviceable, for a first-time author.

He also has me considering taking it offline and rewriting it, again.

So, Leisher read it, let me know what you think, and I'll think about next steps.

It's a good story, and definitely a very good first effort. I've read some books in that past that I never understood how they got published in the first place. I just think the story telling can be more gripping/suspenseful (but then, that's the type of book I like to read).

You could also go deeper into the girl's feelings, and make it more, uh, chicklit? chick-literary-lit?

There's no one right way to tell this (or any) story, but I think some restructuring would make it more appealing.

Catt: I just finished reading the long, 3-book synopsis. I haven't read it in a long while. I'm crying! Book 3 is so good. Everything comes together. It's not entirely accurate any more, there have been changes, but it's 95% accurate. How do you want me to send it to you? It's a word document. About an hour to read.

GORDON wrote: How do you want me to send it to you?

at gmail.com works.

I've been having some pretty dangerous thoughts since last night about what to do with the first book. Stand by for a PM that will be me putting these thoughts into words in order to help me figure out what I really think.

Email sent, and PM written.

GORDON wrote: So, Leisher read it, let me know what you think, and I'll think about next steps.

I'll be starting it on the 5th.

GORDON wrote: If I remove it from the Kindle store, peeps who bought it get to keep it, right?

I haven't bought it yet. Want me to go do that so you can remove it?

Leisher wrote: Buying it today as well. Let me know about the feedback you want.

Leisher wrote: I haven't bought it yet. Want me to go do that so you can remove it?

Liar.

I haven't made any final, FINAL decisions, but maybe grab it before it gets banned by amazon.

Also I still want good reviews. You can still be the first. I fully believe that peer pressure of a few 5-star reviews will make people power through it, wondering, "Well, if these other people like it, I should too." And feel free to say that some parts are hard or uncomfortable to read, but that you understood the point of it.

TheCatt wrote:

Leisher wrote: Buying it today as well. Let me know about the feedback you want.

Leisher wrote: I haven't bought it yet. Want me to go do that so you can remove it?

Liar.

Yeah, I had intended too, but figured I'd hold off until my trip.

Tell you what... when I'm deep into editing the dark parts of this story, I lose sleep. Haven't slept in two nights.

GORDON wrote: Tell you what... when I'm deep into editing the dark parts of this story, I lose sleep. Haven't slept in two nights.

You should try being emotionless like me.

TheCatt wrote:

GORDON wrote: Tell you what... when I'm deep into editing the dark parts of this story, I lose sleep. Haven't slept in two nights.

You should try being emotionless like me.

I've purged all emotions except anxiety.

GORDON wrote:

TheCatt wrote:

GORDON wrote: Tell you what... when I'm deep into editing the dark parts of this story, I lose sleep. Haven't slept in two nights.

You should try being emotionless like me.

I've purged all emotions except anxiety.

Is horny an emotion? I have that.