Finished. Have to decompress it before posting a review. Here's a preview though:
"I haven't dumped this many loads while reading since Penthouse Forum."
(Are we still making sex jokes about this?)
I like your writing style. Recently read someone else's short story and it was annoying because you could tell most of the words were grabbed from a Thesaurus. I hate that. Just write how you talk.
I had a couple of minor quibbles here and there, but overall I enjoyed it.
Don't let my delay in finishing it fool you into thinking I didn't like it. I realized why I'm so adverse to reading right now. It's because I'm forced to read so much lately due to school.
Book - "Saved - Book 1 of The Circle Trilogy" - by me
Book - "Saved - Book 1 of The Circle Trilogy" - by me
"Happy slaves are the worst enemies of freedom." - Marie Von Ebner
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
Book - "Saved - Book 1 of The Circle Trilogy" - by me
Thank you for the kind words, I appreciate it. I had a lot of stress over "putting it out there," and encouragements helps alleviate that.
My writing style is, indeed, "how I talk." You notice how much I enjoy coming up with the best words for the thing Troy is trying to describe, on D&D night? That's me enjoying the side affects of writing. But one thing I've noticed is that I think in run-on sentences, and that comes out in my writing when I'm deep into my trance, and just spilling out the story. I go back and can't believe I have paragraph-long sentences, and I thought that was ok. There might still be a few in the next book... my beta readers will let me know. But I fixed at least 50 of them.
But, as they say, one is supposed to eschew obfuscation. I sometimes pause to think of the perfect word that I'm looking for, but in the entire 330k word story, I think I hit the thesaurus twice. My writing style is more Hemingway, than Faulkner, that's for damned sure. I couldn't even wrap my head around Faulkner, in high school.
My writing style is, indeed, "how I talk." You notice how much I enjoy coming up with the best words for the thing Troy is trying to describe, on D&D night? That's me enjoying the side affects of writing. But one thing I've noticed is that I think in run-on sentences, and that comes out in my writing when I'm deep into my trance, and just spilling out the story. I go back and can't believe I have paragraph-long sentences, and I thought that was ok. There might still be a few in the next book... my beta readers will let me know. But I fixed at least 50 of them.
But, as they say, one is supposed to eschew obfuscation. I sometimes pause to think of the perfect word that I'm looking for, but in the entire 330k word story, I think I hit the thesaurus twice. My writing style is more Hemingway, than Faulkner, that's for damned sure. I couldn't even wrap my head around Faulkner, in high school.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Book - "Saved - Book 1 of The Circle Trilogy" - by me
Did you just put yourself in the same sentence as Hemingway and Faulkner?!
Book - "Saved - Book 1 of The Circle Trilogy" - by me
No, I said my writing style was closer to one than the other.
I can't describe a meadow in such a way as to make you think you're in a dream, but I can tell you that beer was cold, and make you believe it.
I can't describe a meadow in such a way as to make you think you're in a dream, but I can tell you that beer was cold, and make you believe it.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Book - "Saved - Book 1 of The Circle Trilogy" - by me
Speaking of the thesaurus, what's a word that means "frightened, but daring to hope?"
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Book - "Saved - Book 1 of The Circle Trilogy" - by me
I tried that, and I didn't like it in the cadence of the paragraph.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Book - "Saved - Book 1 of The Circle Trilogy" - by me
"Happy slaves are the worst enemies of freedom." - Marie Von Ebner
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
Book - "Saved - Book 1 of The Circle Trilogy" - by me
Hmmmmmmmmmmm.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Book - "Saved - Book 1 of The Circle Trilogy" - by me
Is there such a word? I cannot think of one.
It's not me, it's someone else.
Book - "Saved - Book 1 of The Circle Trilogy" - by me
I've made up words before. I will again.
Except this time I won't have an English teacher telling me to stop being creative.
Except this time I won't have an English teacher telling me to stop being creative.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."